Published in Nasty Gal, 2018
It’s the day after Valentine’s and I am hungover. I’m hungover because I spent last night with two of my best girlfriends in an up-scale restaurant making our way through a degustation menu that was, yes, explicitly designed for couples and featured a fantastic proportion of aphrodisiac-inspired foods whilst drinking our way into an orange wine haze. Did we spill wine all over our table at one point? Did we trade Tinder profiles and send absurd messages to some poor hapless matches? Did we cap the night off with two hours in a strip club on a Wednesday? It’s difficult to say but I think in all likelihood the answer to these question is “yes, we totally did.”
I love my girlfriends and I love to love them, too. Female friendships are absolutely sacred to me, as I know they are to the great majority of women, because there is something so inherently wondrous about them; they’re incredibly intimate and caring, you can find conscientiousness and kindness in other women that you simply cannot entirely expect from the other relationships in your life. Acting with romance towards my girlfriends is one of my greatest joys in this life and something that I believe should unswervingly take precedence over sexually romantic relationships.
In a 2016 column for the New York Times titled ‘What Women Find In Friends That They May Not Get From Love,’ Rebecca Traister explores the notion that close female friendships are more valuable to women now than ever before due to the increasing age that women are first married. “As women live more of our lives unmarried, we become ourselves not necessarily in tandem with a man or within a traditional family structure but instead alongside other women: our friends.” Traister argues that there should be a ritual of recognition akin to a wedding to celebrate the bonds that we share with our close female friends and, quite beyond the fact that if we were to join forces with our girl friends we could plan an event so incalculably lovely that it would make all attendees cry with existential confusion, I think that female friendships absolutely deserve respect akin to marriage.